iAm Stupid
by Dark Avenger01
Summary: Freddie regrets screwing up Sam and Carly's lives. WARNING - this is not my usual stuff. It's angsty and depressing; consider yourself warned! Rated to be safe.


**This is just something I wrote during creative writing class today. It's not my usual stuff...so consider this a warning as well as the disclaimer in the summary.**

**If you still wish to read on, then enjoy.  
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On the rooftop of the _Bushwell Plaza_, Freddie had normally retreated here once in a great while. Usually, only when he wanted to _really_ be alone. The breeze tousled his brown hair slightly. The autumn breeze wasn't as strong as it had been in the past few days and his gray windbreaker offered enough warmth for him against it. It was just him up there - no laptop, no music…only his cell phone, which he had conveniently set to vibrate. His lawn chair was up here with him; the one thing he usually took with him when he wanted to contemplate things. That, and he didn't feel like sitting on cold concrete.

It had gotten a bit colder, as well as darker earlier. And the only sight he saw was the tops of several outlying buildings that surrounded the _Bushwell_ like some heavily fortified tower. Far below, he could hear the onrush of cars and the sounds of traffic. He then sighed to himself, knowing that for the past few weeks, not only had he screwed up two people's lives…but he also lost something he realized he truly cared about - Sam.

It had started way back with when he and Sam shared their first kiss. That's what set the gears in motion in both their heads. But it didn't stop there; it just compounded things even more when Carly and Freddie both had lousy dates for the "Girl's Choice Dance". Unbeknown to Freddie at the moment, Sam had seen the two of them and silently left without a word or a sound. That is…until Sam confronted him about it; apparently, she had these…fleeting moments of thought, where she would picture her and Freddie together. The thoughts both repulsed and elated her. Carly too, was having such thoughts; since he saved her life, she hadn't quite looked at him in the same manner.

To make matters worse, he had no longer felt the same way about Carly. He slowly began to realize that she wasn't interested in him. But, he had realized that he really _did_ have feelings for Sam. That…no matter what torture she put him through, he _really_ did like her. He would be in class at times and would find himself not even paying attention to his teachers. He would either be too lost in thought thinking about the blond, curly haired girl that would pick on him, or in more rarer moments, would be too busy just looking at her.

That too, soon came to a crashing halt, when Freddie did the dumbest, bone-headed move of all time - he told Sam how he felt. He replayed the conversation over and over again in his head, each time knowing how it would play out. "I like you, Sam," he played in his mind's eye. "I have for a while now, but…I just wasn't sure what you'd say about it." He would watch as Sam would just stare at him, wide-eyed. Almost like a deer caught in a pair of headlights. She was frozen, and to Freddie, he knew what that meant. He awaited the retaliation by the curly haired girl, but grew nervous when there came none.

"…No you don't," she finally replied with a chuckle, shaking her head. Her blond curls seemed to twirl a bit as she did so, causing Freddie's heart to race just slightly faster.

"Yeah, I do," he shakily went on. "I like you Sam. I have for a while now…and I'm sorry you saw me and Carly dancing in the Groovie Smoothie that night, but I felt that we both just deserved a dance with someone we each didn't want to kill. And you know that I saved her life, because she's my friend…and in that situation, I would have done the same for you. Or I know that you would have done the same for Carly." He knew this part of the conversation well, and if he was smarter, he would have stopped it then and there. But…like most males that were unsure of themselves around girls that they had liked, he kept going. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that…I'm asking you out, Sam." Once more, the deer-in-the-headlights-look returned. She bit her lower lip and Freddie knew this look as well. He was all too familiar with it when he first asked out Carly.

"Freddie…" Her voice was soft and gentle, yet in a way, she sounded sad. His eyes closed up on that roof, as he was forced to finish out the memory of what had happened…and what caused his heart to break. "…You don't want to date me," she replied with a small laugh. She seemed to not believe him.

"Well…yeah I do, Sam! Why would you say that?" He kept telling himself in his head to shut up. He shouted it; he _screamed_ it.

He didn't listen to himself.

"I need to go," Sam had said to him. "Carly is waiting for me so we can prepare segments for the next _iCarly_. We'll talk at her place later to do the show, all right?" She offered him a sincere smile, but the damage had been done. She seemed to have ignored the question completely.

"Yeah…we'll do that," he replied to her, almost like he wasn't even speaking. She just slipped out from the fire escape, where he was earlier when he confronted her about how he felt. It was from there, that he moved to the roof. He folded up his lawn chair and went inside with it, deftly moving to his sneakers and putting them on. He had heard his mother's voice, but it hadn't even registered with him what she said, but purely out of instinct, he just grabbed a light jacket and put it on, which seemed to make his mother stop. With lawn chair in hand, he moved to the roof.

And so there he sat, for the past two hours; the breeze lapping around his body like waves at an ocean. He seemed to have zoned out the entire world around him, yet knew his surroundings. Freddie then rose to his feet and looked at his cell phone. The time on it read quarter after five; giving a small, weak smile, he knew what that meant. Sam and Carly were just about done with their segments and would be eating dinner. He let out a sad sigh, threw his phone onto his lawn chair and slowly shuffled towards the roof ledge.

He cautiously climbed up onto it and peered down to the street below. The rushing cars and trucks looked like toys to him. It was growing dark, as he could indicate by the dotted lights in the various buildings glowed faintly through the windows, and the headlights from some of the cars below shined onto the street. He shut his eyes and sighed once more, hearing the honking of the busy rush hour traffic below.

It was then that began to walk…

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**Again...something I wrote during my creative writing class today. The assignment was to just write a small story that was emotion driven. I hope you enjoyed and if not, I apologize for how depressing it was.**


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